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YOU MIGHT BE A TRUE VOLVO OWNER IF... 1. You ever traded in a car for an older model Volvo because you needed more reliable transportation. 2. You ever couldn't sleep at night wondering if the dealer's mechanic torqued the repair job properly. 3. You vary the octane gas you purchase based on temperature and altitude. 4. You ever paused while picking out clothes to wear for the day to ponder what would be the safest clothes to wear. 5. 100,000 miles is synonymous with "break in period." 6. You think your home refrigerator is one heck of a sleek design. 7. Your local dealer calls you for help locating parts. 8. You're convinced soft paint is an impact absorbing safety feature. 9. You ever thought about making a recliner for your den out of a Volvo seat because your lazy-boy recliner just wasn't comfortable enough. 10. For some inexplicable reason you haven't been able to enjoy a Harrison Ford movie lately and you've had stray thoughts about Gerald Ford being a terrible U. S. president. 11. You have a better set of repair manuals for your make/model than your local dealer. 12. You don't believe it's really a safety feature until it has an acronym (e.g. ABS, DSTC, EBD, IC, SIPS, SRS, STC, WHIPS). 13. Irv Gordon is your hero. 14. You dream of going to Jerusalem, Mecca and Gothenburg before you die. 15. Numbers 4, 8 and 12 aren't funny because safety is no laughing matter. 16. Your home page is www.brickboard.com. 17. You're pretty sure Nostradamus said something about putting a Volvo badge on a Ford Explorer and the end of the world being near. 18. Your friends call you "Safety Nazi." 19. You're fairly certain the factory recommended oil change interval has an extra zero typo. 20. When asked "what year is your Volvo?" you have accidentally replied "it was born in 19__". 21. You've inquired about the existence of synthetic windshield washer fluids in hopes of even further extending the life of your Volvo. (Additionally, you don't just add more washer fluid, you change the washer fluid.) 22. You've ever attached a Q-Tip to a coat hanger to clean those hard to reach areas. 23. After 10,000 miles without the check engine light coming on, you've taken apart the dash because you knew the light must have burnt out. 24. You don't see anything wrong with thinking inside the box. 25. Like an Alfred Hitchcock outline, you resemble the Volvo symbol when naked. 26. You know the Latin translation of Volvo (I roll) and the origin of the Volvo symbol of a circle with an arrow (symbol for iron) even though you didn't go to Catholic School and that they combine to mean "rolling strength." 27. You made a mint hoarding the old style 100K medallions and selling them on e-bay to people who submit a proper VIN number. 28. You slam on your brakes at traffic lights because you enjoy seeing taxicabs-Hyundais-BMWs-etc. smash up their font ends while you drive away unscathed. 29. You have more pix of your Volvo collection in your wallet/purse than you do of your kids. 30. You let your kid pay for his/her own college tuition so you can afford to restore that 544 you bought. 31. You instinctively know and seek out the sound of Volvo exhausts and door slams in parking lots. 32. You throw a little party in your Volvo every time you rack up another 1,000 miles. 33. You break a lamp and knock over the trash can while running into the living room to see the latest Volvo commercial. Corollary...you ever bought a magazine just because of the Volvo advertisement in it. 34. You have at least five items of clothing with the Volvo name or logo on them. 35. You've crossed six lanes of grid-locked rush hour traffic just to get a better look at another Volvo. 36. You brag incessantly about the time you changed the blower motor on a 240. 37. You believe broad shoulders make men and cars better looking. 38. You ever examined your car's front seats to see how you might attach four-point seatbelts for that extra margin of safety. 39. You know damn well, if you ever get in an accident, it will be the other driver's fault. 40. You see nothing unusual with Zymol making a specially formulated wax just for Volvos. 41. Whenever you see two boxes stacked on top of each other, you can't help but pause and admire the simple pleasing aesthetics. 42. You can find Gothenburg and Gustafsberg on a map easier than you can find Georgia or Georgetown. 43. As a child when you got a new HotWheels or Matchbox, you opened the box, removed the toy car . . . and played with the box. 44. Your goal is to have as many of your Brickboard forum postings archived as possible or you e-mail Jarrod Stenberg to ask if the views counter is working correctly if you postings don't have over 100 views after a week. 45. You have ever removed a part of your vehicle to facilitate washing/waxing behind it (e.g. the license plate). 46. You can remember the model numbers, engine displacements, recommended oil viscosity, octane rating, and tire pressure of your vehicles better than you can your wedding anniversary. 47. When you think of founding fathers you think of the economist Assar Gabrielsson, and the engineer Gustaf Larson, who joined forces in 1924 with the idea to build a Swedish car. 48. You believe the true history of automobiles began on April 14, 1927, when the first Volvo, the OV4, rolled out of the factory in Lundby on Hising Island in Gothenburg. 49. Your family knows when your within a mile of home by the tell-tale squeal of your brakes. 50. ??? |
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